The Perils of Pre-Travel Paranoia (Part 2)

In shopping for the upcoming trip, I tried not to go overboard, although the Magellan and Travelsmith catalogs make this difficult. Bought a small and sturdy umbrella and a wallet made of some type of metal that will help prevent identity theft. I needed a new carry-on suitcase anyway, so that purchase will benefit me for another 10 years. Also needed jeans and a warm-weather shirt. So, I tell myself—because it's myself who needs convincing—this is not frivolous spending. The mini toothbrush, battery operated, will be a sort of test run for a permanent toothbrush of that sort. The gps will become a lifelong companion because I see no indications that aging triggers a dormant sense of direction.

When I was growing up, there were no vacations—none that involved travel, anyway. I have always felt that travel vacations were proof that I had made it to the more stable category of middle-class American. Nowadays, overseas vacations feel more like something only wealthy people do, and I struggle to believe wholeheartedly that I should even take this trip when the money could have done more noble things in this world. Yet, my desire won over altruism, so here I am. And every purchase is weighed in regard to long-term usefulness. And already I am thinking about the tree surgery we just learned must be done and how much it’s going to cost, and I’m planning to return stateside with x amount of money unspent on tours and trinkets and too much frivolous food.

I don’t even ask the question, Would Jesus walk the Cotswolds? I cannot compute such matters and don’t want to. Am a bit wary of such questions plopped in the middle of a time and context far removed from the Nazarene’s. All I can do is refuse to enjoy the maximum level of purposeless fun and leisure. Yeah, this is how guilt-ridden religious people do “vacation.”

And another thing. Even though I have worked out with weights—regularly and without joy—since last November, and even though I’m walking much more and have cut back on portion size, it appears that I will not arrive in the English countryside slim and suddenly attractive. This is a disappointment. At least I haven’t grown any larger. And I do have, let’s see, three more days to work on this. More on this topic Thursday.